We are all managing these difficult circumstances in our own way and hopefully seeking whatever support is available to us in whatever way we can. For those who are fortunate enough to have a partner they can share their worries and emotions with, hopefully mutual support of one another can go a long way to ease some of the stresses we face. Also having both parents available to children can sometimes lessen some of the normal friction you can expect when families are cooped up together for extended periods.
For those less fortunate, who are struggling with the rigours of both parenting and managing self-isolation alone, this strange time can be even more testing.
For those males and females who have recently gone through relationship and family breakdown, now having to spend time in isolation can not only extend the recovery time but also offer a lot of additional thinking time, which, unless you are very self-assured, may mean that a lot of time is spent mulling over what has happened and going down quite negative routes.
The emotional responses to the end of a relationship, even if it was your decision to end it, are more or less the same as the emotions experienced when you have suffered a bereavement. We can feel relief, disbelief, shock, anger, guilt, sadness and depression to name but a few and having to bear this array of emotions alone can be enormously debilitating and draining. Couple this with having to manage children who are also experiencing these emotions - then you have a real challenge on your hands.
For adults who are grappling with these circumstances, self-care becomes even more important, the need to look after yourself is essential if you want to remain an effective parent to your children. Despite it being difficult, make sure you dedicate some time to yourself each day, even if it is in 5 minute bursts; listen to some music or a podcast, paint your nails, sit in the sunshine, plant some seeds, daydream – whatever takes you out of the daily grind for a few minutes, it does make a difference.
For several years now, Brethertons have offered women the opportunity to meet together with myself, a qualified therapist, in a small group setting, to discuss their experiences of relationships, separation and divorce. I am always amazed by the level of support that is offered to each other by group members. Even if their background and circumstances are very different they still reach out to each other and offer care and support when it is most needed.
If you happen to be reading this blog and know of someone who has recently come out of a relationship and is facing this difficult time alone, maybe contact them by some means just to check how they are doing, I feel sure it will be very much appreciated.
For help and advice on divorce, separations and the emotional effects of these circumstances please contact one of the family team today or email info@brethertons.co.uk and we will ensure that someone contacts you as soon as possible.