Valentine’s Day has crept around once again, and whilst the day can be special for people in a relationship, it can also be difficult for those who are not. Especially those who have lost a loved one or have gone through a relationship breakdown.
For those who are not in a relationship, for whatever reason, Valentine’s Day can provoke an emotional response. It can reinforce the fact that we are not in an intimate relationship leading us to miss that closeness with someone and feel a little lonely.
In both my professional and personal experience, it can sometimes, quite innocently, be suggested by others that not being in a relationship can imply that you are somehow less of a person. Even in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs he suggests that the journey to self-fulfilment entails the psychological need of belonging, intimacy, friendship and family needs to be met. It can be easy for those without a partner to view their single status as a negative, which potentially can invite feelings of low self-worth.
Maybe another way to celebrate Valentines Day, particularly if there is not a partner around currently, might be to show ourselves some love and appreciation. Give some consideration as to what makes you feel good about yourself; it might be listening to music or reading a book. It could be a vigorous workout at the gym or a walk in the countryside. Treating yourself to a spa day, a trip to the theatre or buying a bunch of your favourite flowers might do it for you. It really doesn’t matter at all, just find a way to celebrate you, for the person that you are.
One of the most significant ways to improve resilience, confidence and self-worth is to believe in yourself and value yourself. You might be lucky enough to have a partner who, by their acts of appreciation encourages your self-belief. If that isn’t the case, please cultivate ways of making yourself feel good and when anyone compliments you or shows they value you, accept it graciously and retain it in your memory,
Part of the service that Brethertons offer is inviting their clients to access some emotional support from me. This can take the form of individual sessions or to be part of a group where experiences can be shared and support accessed from those who have been through similar circumstances. Please contact Brethertons if you have any questions about the services they provide.
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